The Cast of Characters

Artemus Ward -

Elderly Murder Victim, philanthropic, cranky and opinionated owner of Ward Books

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Bernie Jones - 

Artemus Ward's young nephew; an insecure loafer from the wrong side of the tracks; works in the Ward Books mailroom

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Eileen Morrow - 

Artemus Ward's attorney-at-law and executor of his will; crisp and professional, but cold and defensive

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Jeannie Dell - 

Young owner of The Manor, a barely surviving but tasteful little restaurant; a trifle daft

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Alexis Ward-Regent-Middlefield-Abernathy-Gillicuddy-Boskowicz -

Artemus Ward's oft-widowed, Dickinson quoting daughter, whose sanity is more than a little suspect; acquisitions editor for Ward Books and signer of their one best-seller, Steamy Nights in N'Awlins; she and her brother are heirs to Ward Books

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Reginald Ward - 

Artemus Ward's son; warm as a fish, scheming as a snake; the other heir to Ward Books

 

Dr. Bullfinger -

the ambitious but incompetent, newly elected county coroner

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Major Major Major -

an ambitious and quick-thinking journalist whose father was a big fan of Joseph Heller's Catch-22